Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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