Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
