My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
