You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
