I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
