bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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