I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
