i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
