it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
