im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
