I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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