I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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