i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Randomize
