I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
