Only a mothe r could love this liver
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
