I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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