Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
