sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
