hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You were trust falling into bushes
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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