ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize