Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
