I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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