My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
