You're my little dorito
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
My dad just said "fuck circus"
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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