Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
