No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
