i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
