you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
