i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
