The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
