just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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