It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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