she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize