Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
