I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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