she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
