how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
