spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
