Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
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