The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
