Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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