Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
