i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
