Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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