jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
