Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
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