Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
