Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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