he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
