yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
