I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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