Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
