I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
