I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
When are your genitals available?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
