"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Just high enough for therapy.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
