wanna go halves on a baby?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
