Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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