hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
