awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
