I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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