I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
is it fun? or sober?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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