What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize