This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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