I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
