Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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