Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
