Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You may now shotgun with the bride
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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