You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
