Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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