I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize