just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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