I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
