Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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